Over the past two days, I have seen a question that has been browsed up to 8 million times.

Here are some controversial answers:

This reminds me of the recent variety show My Favorite Women. In the program, Yang Shuo, the "small package manager", said after assigning the housework to his wife, "Never reason with girls."

As a woman, my feelings about this view are complicated. I remember that I used to be ashamed of my boyfriend's "disobedience". Then I felt a little proud because I thought I was "reasonable most of the time" and "different from other girls". Among these pride, there were some unnoticeable grievances, trying to refute "girls don't like to reason", but I didn't know where to start.

What is the source of the shame, pride and grievance I feel? Why does it seem to put women in an awkward position whether to blame or support girls for being unreasonable?

Today, we are going to talk about this topic through Professor Yoshihiko Ueno's book "Misogyne", a Japanese sociologist.——

Misogyny is used to express people's attitude and consciousness of contempt, derogation and materialization towards women.

Professor Ueno believes that in the traditional patriarchal gender dualism, the position of men and women is asymmetric: the power subject of social order is men. Both men and women need to "become" their gender identity through men's recognition.

That is to say, men need to be recognized as "men" by the same-sex collective, and by consistently taking women as the object of sex, it is the basis of mutual recognition and unity of the subject of sex (men). In this process, women are recognized as objects. (KY: This is similar to other forms of oppression and discrimination we see, such as white people who "became white" by enslaving blacks and bullying small campus groups of transferred students through "solidarity".

The recognition from women is the "reward" that accompanies the confirmation of men's dominant position.

* "Misogyny" and "Sex Discrimination"

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These two concepts are related, but there are also some differences.

The core of gender discrimination is that men are superior to women, and its root is indeed the culture of "female-hating". The concept of "female-hating" is a broader one, and some of the expressions of "female-hating" are not gender discrimination.

For example, many women often feel anxious because they are dissatisfied and disgusted with their body and appearance. This kind of external gaze and self-censorship of women's bodies is not because people think that "men are inherently more beautiful than women", but because people tacitly accept women's bodies as objects that can be imposed will.

"Misogyny" emphasizes the shackles and oppression of women by social culture. Sociologist Allan G. Johnson believes that "misogyny is a cultural attitude towards women, because they are women, so they have contempt and hatred for them. Misogyny is a central part of the ideology of sexism. And it permeates the whole society.

In modern society, more and more women begin to strive for the freedom to choose life, and more and more people begin to pay attention to the topic of gender equality. Many people may have this question: Is there really anybody who is "misogynous"?

We, or most of the female friends around us, are well-off, have received higher education, many of them are only children, and some of them, even if they have brothers, have not been treated differently. We compete in the workplace like men, even better. There are also a number of distinct and independent female roles in the recent hit "Quan You" and "Reunion". On the surface, it seems that the present society is more friendly and equal to women.

However, this does not mean that people are no longer "female-weary".

(1) The penetration of misogyny into daily life is deep, extensive and concealed.

Some misogyny is reflected in the social rules that are accepted and widely used. For example, "Women should take more care of their families". Although few people will claim it publicly now, the reason why discipline is not repeated publicly is not because it has been abandoned, but because it has been internalized into people's ideas and behaviors.

Most people have long learned the consensus that women should take on housework from their parents'interaction patterns. The cleanliness of the family is still an important criterion to determine whether a woman is valuable or not. According to the data from the National Bureau of Statistics, in 2018, women spent an average of 2 hours and 6 minutes a day doing housework, 45 minutes for men; women aged 25-34 spent an average of 1 hour and 55 minutes accompanying and caring for their children, and 29 minutes for men.

Some women strive for their right to be exempted from housework. In addition to asking men to take part in the housework, another solution is to invite housekeepers. However, most of the housekeepers are still women, let alone whether their labor is returned with equivalent economic benefits.

There are more feminine feelings and attitudes hidden in what we call "micro-aggression" (Hertz, 1986). From a joke to the threat of potential sexual violence, from women's physical harshness to self-denial and neglect.

As a woman, you may have had the same experience:

Thousands of times, I wish I had thinner calves.

After a break-up, I was afraid that I would never find someone who loved me again and felt that I was not worthy of being loved.

Worried about losing your promotion and raise when your boss finds out you're pregnant

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